top of page

Barb Lavalley Benton

Barb cropped2.jpg

Barb Lavalley Benton | Kenova, WV

Fear is a Liar: Fear Drives (recto)

30” x 44” | Soft Pastel on Paper

2021

barb piece 2.jpg

Barb Lavalley Benton | Kenova, WV

Fear is a Liar: Don't Let Fear Drive (verso)

30” x 44” | Soft Pastel on Paper

2021

Artist Statement

Fear is a Liar

There was a time when I didn’t know, in any given moment, if I was coming or going. Fear is a Liar: Fear Drives was a flight to escape reality. Fear and self-doubt created a vortex of confusion where I couldn’t make decisions and I felt I didn’t have a home. My foot propped on the front bumper of the jeep emphasizes that moment where I was consumed with panic and introspection, unsure of which way to go. The black hole stretched before me and a manic loop played in my mind of What does it all mean? My life. Who am I now? How can I fix this? 

 

I realized I had built my identity around the love of someone else.  I learned, fear is a liar. I learned, I had a maniac in my head that also lied to me. I learned, even if I had been broken into pieces that I could put myself back together. It would take time--some pieces were shattered. My biggest lesson was that I had to let those destroyed pieces go and not look back. 

 

Fear is a Liar: Don’t let Fear Drive is a second drawing created simultaneously. The fear and anxiety during this experience triggered emotions even while drawing, and I re-traveled many miles in my head. On this second piece, I focused on how I came through that fear and I used that healing. The lighter soft pastels and fluid motion together induced a sense of calm. The dove marks represent flight towards learning what drives and sustains me as a person, and as a spiritual being. Self-love and forgiveness were the first steps. I had to learn these truths before I could let go of regret and forgive others. This process was necessary for moving forward; for learning to hope for things I could not imagine on my own. For letting go, and moving from fear toward a place of peace no matter the circumstance. 

IMG_8891.jpg

Barb Lavalley Benton | Kenova, WV

Budgies

Installation, Dimensions Variable | Glazed Stoneware

2021

Budgies' ability to fly can depend on many factors. The budgie or budgerigar, which is native to Australia, is one species where mutations, genetic testing and selective breeding can have long term effects in their ancestry. One bird mutation, results in the Feather Duster budgie, who looks like “Mr. Fluffy”. This abnormality is from a virus, and sadly, makes this bird not able to fly. A genetic result can also be asymmetrical wing size as shown with the bird attempting to take flight. He will not go far because his wings are unbalanced. This can be a result of interbreeding between siblings. This interbreeding can also create birds with too few feathers, shorter feathers, or other disproportionate effects. 

 

Most budgies fly beautifully! They manage to steer free of a mutation that effects their ability to fly, but gain a different genetic, or interbreeding result. This can be a coloration presentation from the normal wild green and yellow, to fluorescent, mutant blue, or a lack of pigmentation altogether to produce white, cinnamon, mauve, olive, violet, speckled and more. This can happen from a single amino acid substitution expressed through the feathers such as in the case of mutant blue. This can even result in a bird that is called a half-sider, which means the color of the bird is divided bilaterally down the center. One last presentation this artwork addresses is how a mutation might be expressed in smaller than normal or larger than normal size budgies.

 

Note: Budgies was created during Fall 2021 in a ceramics course taught by Visiting Professor Allora McCullough and was included in this exhibition by invitation due to its related thematic content.

bottom of page